We took the opportunity of the presence of our offspring in Italy to join them for a break of our retirement routine and visit that wonderful country. Although most of our time was spent with our good friends Donatella and Carlo, we also had time to explore a bit of what the Italians know as “the most beautiful country in the world” not without reason.

So, after considering the various travel options for our Southern Italy outing, the family decided to take the plunge renting a car with the bushsnob as the driver. Although I have enjoyed driving in Italy during our earlier periods in Rome, I was more reluctant to accept the responsibility now. I tried to argue that I had not driven in Italy for over 6 years, that I needed time to re-adjust to the Italian traffic and that it would get worst as you move down South. Even mentioning my advanced age and its accompanying shortcomings failed to make a dent on their resolve.

So, a car was hired and I drove!

We planned to visit Herculaneum (Ercolano) and Pompeii (at the request of wife and daughter) and Sorrento, my favourite place in Italy at my request.

Once driver-designate, I revealed to them that I still had an Avis Preferred card, a relic from my days of work-related flying with British Airways (BA). Avis and BA had an agreement that yielded miles to your membership to the airline’s reward programme. So we went for Avis and, from decision day onwards, aware of my new responsibility, I started to watch the Roman traffic with the consequence that a knot started to develop in my stomach!

We booked a Fiat 500, well in advance. We chose it for being an economical car, but also -very importantly- to be small enough to go through the many narrow and often windy roads found in Italy, not to mention parking!

Finally the 8 June came and we were kindly taken to our car-collecting point at the Via Laurentina -chosen for easy exit from Rome- to collect the vehicle and to start our odyssey or at least that was the way it felt to me. My nerves were barely under control when we arrived to the office. We proceeded to wait for our turn as the lady in charge was dealing with another customer. Walking up and down inside the small office was also a tall and black-bearded man on the cellphone, rather agitated, arguing and gesticulating wildly.

We saw no change after having been there for a while although the attendant had seen us. Suddenly she announced that we were better off going to the bar next door to have a capuccino as she had a foreign customer to finish with as well as another serious problem to solve as the morning had not started well. The bearded man was apparently the serious problem. Slightly taken aback we obliged and took advantage to stay a bit longer wth our friend Donatella for a while longer, always a pleasure.

We estimated 20 minutes as sufficient time to solve the on-going issues and we returned to the office. Despite this, the bearded was still there and we were still ignored! As we waited for the second time, we heard that, despite the bearded man booking the car of his choice well in advance and given Avis clear specifications on the colour, make and model of what he needed, they had offered him another, quite different one!

A few minutes of evesdropping later we obtained more information. The bearded man wanted a white Mercedes coupe and Avis presented him with a grey station wagon. He was indignant and would not accept the swop! I thought he was just being difficult but then we learnt that what he was renting was his wedding car and it became obvious that his future wife was at the other end of the phone and she was not taking another car for her most important day!

After about an hour, finally the bearded man to be married departed with instructions to take the station wagon to another office in the centre of town where someone would replace his station wagon for the right car. Although the story sounded very convincing and the bearded man to be married accepted it, I had doubts on its outcome.

While this exchange went on, the knot in my stomach was worsened by the misgivings that we were facing a difficult morning at Avis Laurentina and also that it was getting rather late! I was not disappointed…

When our turn finally came we produced our booking and needed documents. Very soon we were informed that we would not have the car we booked but another one that luckily, as the seller put it, belonged to a much more expensive class, was larger, more comfortable and as a special favour, it would not cost us more! Instead of our Fiat 500 we she offered a Nissan Juke, something I never heard of until that moment. We tried to explain to the attendant that we had booked the Fiat 500 because of it being smaller, etc. But she would not take any of our reasons and she repeated three times that what she was offering was a better deal, a fact that was beginning to irritate us.

After a while, realizing that it was either the Juke or nothing, we decided to accept the change as it was now getting really late and our friend could not wait for us anymore! So, after a quick inspection we said farewell to Donatella and signed up for the “improved” offer while the lady continued repeating that it was a better deal!

Luckily the drive through Southern Italy went very smoothly and later, when returning the car we learnt that the bearded man to be married did become the bearded man married after all and that, apparently, he got the right car, eventually!